My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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