all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
