you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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