I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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