she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
