i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
