My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize