This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
