just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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