I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
