Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
