His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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