MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
