If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
