Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
MIDGETS
????
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
