Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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