i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
and you fell through a lawn chair
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
