well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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