some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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