Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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