everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
