I CAN MOONWALK!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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