Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
