i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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