apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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