I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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