I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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