yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.