Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Your cock deserves a montage
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We can't do acid Disneyworld.