okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
