if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
