Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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