i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Less talking, more tequila
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
