Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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