All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
