i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
