I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
