i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
