my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
