i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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