wat bout pragnant strippers??
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
