i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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