I heard we made out
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
