At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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