I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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