she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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