While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
