After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
