Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All I want is dick and wine.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
