you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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