me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
