Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
