this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
