Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
