Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
