from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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