i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
