More tranny stories later!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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