im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
