So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
