Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
