I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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