i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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