We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
