You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
