He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
